Financial marriage issue
Asalaamu’alaykum,
I have been married for just under 1-year alhamdulliah. Before marrying my husband, I was born and raised in London but he had a job opportunity, so I moved for him once we married. Before meeting my husband, I lived alone with my two children in a council flat. During the engagement period to my husband he was paying for my rent and supporting myself and two children alhamdulliah.
Once we officially married I moved to my husband and I left my house in London empty, my husband continued paying towards my house while also providing for us while living with him. I have been saving and planning to buy this council flat in a halal manner for over 3 years so until I’m able to buy out right I must make monthly payments towards rent of £550. My husband was fine with this because I visit London every month to visit family so whenever I go, I stay at my house in London.
5 months ago my father came to me and told me he is homeless and has nowhere else to go, he is remarried and he needed somewhere to stay with his wife. He asked me to stay at my house in London since its empty until he can find somewhere permanent. My husband was ok with this as my dad is quite old and doesn’t have savings/investments and it’s a horrible situation to be in. My husband continued to pay the rent in my house as even though my father is staying there with his wife I still visit every month and stay there also.
My husband has now told me that he cannot pay towards my rent and that I should asked my father to as he is working and should contribute towards the rent. He even suggested that my other siblings should pay towards the rent, and the burden shouldn’t just fall onto my husband. I tried to explain to him that he is my father and he hasn’t asked me for financial support but he asked to stay in an empty house. I tried to explain that my father is a guest in my home and he’s going through other things and it would be wrong of me to stress him further and make him uncomfortable. In the end the tenancy is under my name the responsibility falls on me therefore my husband was providing while it was empty, I don’t understand how now I’m helping a parent it’s an issue today. My husband concluded the situation with if I don’t want to ask my dad to pay then I should ask my siblings and I said I cannot do that so he concluded with I should get a job and make the payments myself. My husband isn’t happy with this conclusion, but I feel like he’s given me no choice in the matter.
I do want to mention my husband alhamdulliah he is financially stable and makes good money. He also supports his family (mother/father/siblings) when in need and he has two children from a previous marriage that he supports. Yes, in our household together he provides everything myself and my children need alhamdulliah. What is my right in this situation?
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
Your husband is only duty bound to pay for your currently living place, and not for the place in London. He has to take care of your other expenses, but when you are not in London, it is not an expense.
He will be rewarded greatly for assisting your respected father, but it cannot be imposed on him. Especially since your father is working and you also have siblings, it will not be correct to demand that your husband pays the full rental. That he was paying before does not necessitate that he is bound to still pay.
The best is to have a meeting with your siblings and ask them to contribute too. Your husband can then be request to also contribute a little.