Taunt From Family, Obedience to Parents and Games
Assalamu alaikum, dear Shaikh sorry for a long question but it is important for me you can avoid it since your time is precious than mine.
its been 6-7 years i am coming towards and learning deen, slowly slowly i have stopped listening to music, watching movies, tv shows, and some more haram stuff, and started practicing deen and also started memorizing quran as much i can but the environment around me is not religious, my dearest relatives (mother,etc) also taunt me when i dont do what they say, like they say me to trim your beard so it can grow fast, dont choose this career choose that and stuff like if i want to do something or buy something for enjoyment and for peace of mind which is not bad also they also dont let me, my desires are extremely strong, its going really hard for me to leave life with these desires and without peace of mind, i can’t marry right now and my parents say me dont fast for no reason, they give me money but dont let me spend as i want but says spend here only and many other taunts and words those give me pain in my heart, even when i care for them, help them in every way i can and they also care for me but they do things which make me feel so depressed, some times i feel sad and alone and feel like my heart is coming out of chest, here we dont have enough good physical activity or game that i can enjoy,
I follow Mufti Tariq Masood according to his opinion digital images are allowed and can play games that dont contain “behayai”
but i don’t have enough knowledge and they didn’t cleared everything, according to their opinion i want to know if i can play games those have haram elements and halal but avoid haram and play with halal like disable music, avoiding looking at female cartoon character etc i want something for freshing my mind, if i dont try to have anything for entertainment i feel very alone and receive waswsa of sins.
And is it allowed to not do what parents say to do while respecting them and going against them in some cases?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Your desire to tread the path of righteousness and success is indeed commendable.
Allāh Ta’ālā says in respect to this:
“Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds are the best of beings. Their reward by their Lord will be Gardens of Eternity, under which rivers flow, to stay there forever and ever. Allah is pleased with them and they are pleased with Him. This is (only) for those in awe of their Lord.” [Al-Qur’ān 98:7-8]
Allāh Ta’ālā also says:
“Do people think that once they say, “We believe,” they will be left without being tested?” [Al-Qur’ān 29:2]
It is evident from this verse that a believer will surely face various challenges.
However, the Prophet ﷺ asserted:
“No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates his sins because of it, even though it were the prick he receives from a thorn.” [Ṣaḥīḥ Al-Bukhārī]
We acknowledge and understand your frustration and misery, but at the same time, we also admire your patience and resolution to restrain from negatively responding to ‘dearest relatives’. Surely, you will be rewarded for your steadfastness and endurance on patience.
Allāh Ta’ālā says:
“Give glad tidings to those who patiently endure” [Al-Qur’ān 2:155]
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Whoever does not argue when he is in the wrong will have a home built for him on the edge of Paradise. Whoever avoids it when he is in the right will have a home built for him in the middle [best portion] of Paradise. And whoever improves his own character, a home will be built for him in the highest part of Paradise.” [Sunan Al-Tirmidhī]
Whilst Islām frowns upon discrimination, unjust treatment, taunting, and causing emotional harm, one should still remain dutiful to one’s parents and relatives.
Islam requires us to be dutiful to our parents to such an extent that even though they may be non-Muslims, one should still remain dutiful.
Allāh Ta’ālā says:
“And you should still treat them [non-Muslim parents] kindly in this world” [Al-Qur’ān 31:15]
It should also be noted that if your parents command or advise you to do anything contrary to the teachings of Islām, then they should not be obeyed. The manner of not obeying them in such an instance should also be done with kindness.
Even though your feelings may be hurt, and at times you feel isolated; however, you should remember that Allāh Ta’ālā is always with you.
There are various methods you could adopt in dealing with your ‘dearest relatives’:
- Request a third party to clarify matters on your behalf
- Alternatively, express your sentiments to an elderly reputable person amongst the family members who may enjoy have some influence over your parents and others who could then advise them accordingly
- If possible, contact a local reliable scholar who you could confide in to overcome your difficulty
- Read books and articles written by those who faced similar challenges to assist you in overcoming the current situation
- Serve your ‘dearest relatives’ to the best of your ability
- Occasionally get them gifts or write them personal letters expressing your love for them
- Supplicate to Allāh for ease in your affairs, having complete conviction that He is the ‘Changer of Hearts’ and that He will respond to your call and adopt resilience.
We would also like to take this opportunity to supplicate unto Allāh that He eases your situation and keeps you rightly guided whilst also making you a guide for your ‘dearest relatives’.
Furthermore, in order to keep your mind healthy and stimulated, there are other alternatives to playing video games. For example, physical fitness (gyming), or reading books , and upskilling yourself in a particular field of knowledge.
In terms of playing video games, it will be impermissible if the following elements are found:
- It brings forth no good in this world or the Hereafter
- It entails anything contrary to Islāmic teachings
- It comprises more harm and evil than benefit and good
- It is played for amusement purposes and is a hindrance from total servitude to Allāh, or makes one heedless from the remembrance of Allāh.
Since the video game in question contains both ‘Ḥalāl and Ḥarām’ elements, it should be avoided.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
That which is Ḥalāl is clear, and that which is Ḥarām is clear, however, between that (Ḥalāl and Ḥarām) are matters that are doubtful (not clear); many of the people do not know whether it is (clearly) Ḥalāl or Ḥarām. Whoever leaves out (that which is doubtful) to protect his religion and his honor, then he will be safe, and whoever falls into something from them (doubtful things), then he soon will have fallen into Ḥarām. [Sunan Al-Tirmidhī]