Ruling on Marriage
Assalamualaikum,
My husband and myself always thought that talaq only happens when said 3 times in one sitting, so in anger if he ever say once and say once later in the year.. nothing has happened .. his intentions are more towards threat or warning.
He recently was in anger and said talak talak and stopped knowing 3rd time it will happen and kept on warning go away i warn you or he will say once more.. its always a warning to quiet me.. i asked him when he cooled down if saying 2 twice was his intention and all he said its a warning to be aware and if he had to really divorce me he would have said thrice. He says now I want a divorce hence blaming him that he gave me talaq twice even though he doesnt have intention and making the family life worse. We have 14 yrs of marriage with 2 kids. When he gets angry he breaks things at home and do damages around the house in his anger and frustration. I am confused now. Please advise.
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salām wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
We are saddened to hear the occurrence of such, and offer our condolences to you.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said:
“There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce, and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final)”
Based on the above, for each time that your husband had mentioned the word ‘Talāq’, with or without the intention of divorce, a divorce has occurred; hence, three divorces had already been issued from him irrespective of whether he was, or was not, aware of the consequences and implications thereof.
Forgiveness from Allāh should be sought from both parties for the illicit relationship of living together after the occurrence of three divorces.
Moving forward, you may not continue living together with him.
We ask Almighty Allāh to grant you ease and comfort, and reward you in full for the patience you have endured.
References
[Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Al-Nutaf fī Al-Fatāwā Pg. 215 DKI]