Relationship with a Murtad
I would like to know what is the status of a learned person who has a haram relationship with a murtad. Also
Is it ok for one to mix freely with a murtad?
How should we treat a murtad who is family?
Wa’alaykum as Salām wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
A ‘Ḥarām (forbidden) relationship’ is defined as a free and open communication with a person of the opposite gender whom one is not permitted to marry.
A ‘learned person’ in this regard would be any such person who is aware of this prohibition.
Nevertheless, be it a ‘learned person’ or not, the same ruling applies in that a person who engages in such a relationship has committed a grave sin and should immediately terminate the relationship and turn to Allāh in forgiveness.
Furthermore, a Murtad is defined as a person who, after professing Islām, turns apostate and leaves the fold of Islām.
There exists a difference of opinion amongst the scholars regarding the mixing and treating of a Murtad (whether family-related or not):
Some scholars have mentioned that a Murtad, being a human being should be shown love and care in order that he may be engaged about Islām, and to assist him in removing any doubts and misconceptions he might have that has caused him to turn apostate, thus encouraging him and motivating him to revert back to Islām.
In the case that he chooses not to revert to Islām, he should still, be shown kindness for the fact the that the Prophet ﷺ said:
“The creation (all of them) are the dependents of Allāh, therefore the most beloved to Allāḥ is the one who is best towards His dependents” [Bayhaqī]
On the other hand, there are scholars who have mentioned that a person should cut ties and (family or other) relations because a Murtad should feel hurt and lament over his doings, and also to protect oneself from his incitement towards apostasy and from being manipulated by him.
The only relationship that is allowed with a Murtad is a relationship based on encouraging him to revert to Islām and seek Allāḥ’s forgiveness.
If one loses hope in him reverting, then one may not continue any relations with him, neither should he be shown kindness, rather he should be reprimanded and made to feel the implications of his apostasy.
This opinion is based on the incident of the Prophet Ibrāhīm ﷺ:
“As for Ibrāhīm’s prayer for his father’s forgiveness, it was only in fulfillment of a promise he had made to him. But when it became clear to Abraham that his father was an enemy of Allāh, he broke ties with him. Ibrāhīm was truly tender-hearted and forbearing” [Al-Qur’ān 9:114]
Based on the above opinions expressed by the scholars, we advise that a person should use their discretion when dealing with a Murtad.
As long as one is hopeful of him reverting to Islām, then relations should be maintained and kindness should be expressed.
If one reaches a point of not being hopeful of him reverting to Islām, or feels that he may be manipulated by him, then caution should be exercised and a safe distance should be maintained.
وَمَا كَانَ اسْتِغْفَارُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لِأَبِيهِ إِلاَّ عَن مَّوْعِدَةٍ وَعَدَهَا إِيَّاهُ فَلَمَّا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ أَنَّهُ عَدُوٌّ لِلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنْهُ إِنَّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ لَأَوَّاهٌ حَلِيمٌ (سورة التوبة | آية 119)
وعنه ، وعن عبد الله – رضي الله عنهما – قالا : قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” الخلق عيال الله ، فأحب الخلق إلى الله من أحسن إلى عياله ” . روى البيهقي الأحاديث الثلاثة في ” شعب الإيمان “