Marriage and Istikhara
Salaam Aleykum, I have a question regarding making Istikhara relating to marriage. I have made Istikhara 4 times and each time I have made Istikhara a difficulty has come to make the marriage more difficult or I have found out something that she didn’t reveal previously, but I have a very positive feeling about the women, she has a good heart and I can see she would make a good wife, she has helped me and motivated me to pray Fajr which I was struggling with. We have been speaking for around 3-4months with marriage in mind. I have only recently found out that what she told me when we first started talking was not true. She told me she had never been married or had children and now she reveals that she has been previously married twice and has children. She said it was to protect herself and her children and that she is willing to do what it takes to make this marriage happen. Some of the previous obstacles are no longer in the way and I am trying to I decide whether to continue pursuing this marriage, but I am unsure if the difficulties are just a test for us or if it’s a sign not to marry.
Answer
Wa ʿAlaykumus Salām Wa Raḥmatullāhi Wa Barakātuh
Istikhārah is defined as seeking goodness for oneself from Allāh in making the correct decision on some major issue, which in this case is marriage.
Since you have made Istikhārah and feel positive about marrying this person, but you have become rather uncertain due to the information that has unfolded, we advise that you engage in Mashwarah (consulting) with your family members and others who have an interest in your life and take it forward from there, as Mashwarah is also a proven Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
It should also be noted that according to some ʿUlamā, the outcome of Mashwarah is divinely inspired; hence, it is very weighty on the scale of decision making.