Does a father have a right to demand his children pay his debts and support him?
Assalaamu Alaikum,
My husband and his two sisters are struggling with their father who is in severe debt. He has racked up credit card debts over several years and has transferred the balances from card to card without ever paying any money towards them. The banks have finally caught on to this and are now preventing him from borrowing any more money. In addition to this, he collected a COVID-related financial-relief benefit offered by our country for two years despite not being eligible for it and knowing this. The government has since audited citizens who received this benefit and found that he should not have, so they are requesting he pay back the amount given to him (at least $12,000). He also operates two businesses that have not ever done well financially but he refuses to close them, which is worsening his debt. To deal with this, he makes my husband submit tax documents with false information about these businesses to collect more money from the government. This, too, is now causing problems for him and possibly my husband as he may be audited for this as well.
My father-in-law is now demanding that his children help to pay off these debts (or at least pay his interest for him astaghfirullah) and provide him with money each month. He is citing that it is their Islamic obligation to care for him regardless of him not fulfilling their rights or that he caused this situation himself. My husband and his sisters have agreed to help him by providing him with extra money each month to supplement the other government assistance money he receives, but they have requested that he makes changes to how he lives in order to lessen the financial burden on them. For context, these changes include reducing his credit card spending and general shopping (he feels this encroaches on his freedom), moving into a smaller home (he lives in a 5 bedroom house on 1 acre of land by himself), and declaring bankruptcy for his businesses (to stop the false tax submissions and eliminate the business debt). He has refused to make any changes and is lashing out very angrily at being asked to do anything, which has caused a lot of emotional turmoil for all of them. The amount of money he is asking for is not be sustainable for each of our households to support indefinitely, so my husband and his sisters are considering telling their father that he must agree to certain changes or else they will withhold financial support. We are worried, however, about his reaction and whether this is okay Islamically.
Given the situation described above, can you please help to answer the following questions?
1) Are my husband and his sisters obligated to pay off their father’s debts? Are there limitations or guidelines to caring for your parents financially? We are being told by him that he can ask for whatever he wants and they must support him.
2) Are my husband and his sisters within their rights Islamically to refuse to support their father if he will not make changes to his situation?
3) Can my husband refuse to help with his father’s taxes since he knows he is using false information to trick the government? Will he obtain bad deeds for helping him or for doing what is asked of him?
Please let me know what we should do. insha’Allah your guidance will help us to make fair and informed decisions in line with our faith.
Jazakallah Khair
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
Before responding to the direct questions, we will first mention some general principles:
A) It is great to assist one’s parents, but it is not obligatory to carry their financial burden, especially if it was done due to reckless spending, and even worse, through lies and impermissible actions.
B) It is a great reward to assist another person to pay his debts, and many scholars regraded it as the best charity. However, if assisting a person to pay his debts cause him to continue taking more debts, then it is better rather not to contribute to the payment of the debt.
Kindly find hereunder the responses to your queries:
- No, they are not obliged to pay.
- Yes, there are within their Islāmic right to refuse to pay.
- No, he cannot engage in fraud. He will definitely be sinful.
Your husband and his sibling should politely tell their respected father that they cannot assist.