Brothers marriage

13 Aug 2021 Ref-No#: 2584

Salaam !!
I just wanted to inquire about something got to do with marriage. My brother had a wife and she was our cousin; they were arranged to get married in 2011, engaged in 2012, and then married in 2015 and by 2016 3rd august they had a baby boy. Throughout their years of marriage they had many problems because my brothers wife hadn’t loved my brother… After a few family problems my sister-in-law had made various excuses in order to get out of the relationship with my brother and she did that successfully however she does not want to divorce my brother the Islamic way because by doing so she will “ruin” her family’s image. Now after 3 years of separation where my brother has not seen his wife or child due to his wife not allowing his child to see him regardless of the fact that the child wants to see my brother; my brother wants to marry someone and start a family. However he wants my mother to choose someone for him because he has given up and due to past issues not only with his wife but with his parents, our brother, and sister. A girl; my mothers niece has caught our eye. She prays she studies and she is a very nice girl as all my family has seen her since childhood and all of us approve of her however we have not sent a proposal yet and we also have not asked our brother yet. My brother is 27 and the girl we have chosen lives in Afghanistan and is 17-18. Like any other human my brother also has some flaws for example smoking. One of my aunty had asked the girls mother “if this family asked for your daughters hand in marriage for her son would you accept it?” They had said no 1 because he is older and 2 because he smokes. Our family totally agrees and we aren’t upset however somewhere in me I still feel as if there still is a chance. Me as a sister; can I do a istikharah prayer on behalf of my brother on whether we should personally ask her parents our self or should we just take a no from our other aunty ?
Thank you if you could just get back to me ASAP I will appreciate it a lot.


Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

We apologise for the late response.

Istikhārah is defined as seeking guidance for oneself from Allāh in making the correct decision on an issue.

Whilst Mashwarah (consulting others) is Sunnah, Istikhārah on behalf of someone else has not been proven.

In the current scenario, we advise that the family further discuss the matter at hand, and thereafter, your brother may do Istikhārah himself in order to arrive at a sound decision.

On your part, you may pray and implore Allah to bless him with what is best. Allah knows what is best for both parties.

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