Sexting and Porn Addiction
Question
I am muslim female and I masturbate with strangers online. I feel so horny before that and I can’t think straight. I know I am wrong and sinning but while doing that I enjoy it. Its after everything has happened I feel a bit dead inside. My heart turns solid I don’t know how to ask for forgiveness. I really want to ask for forgiveness and never return to the sin. Please help me
Answer
Wa ‘alaykum as-salām wa Raḥmatullāhi wa Barakātuh,
Alḥamdulillāh, you recognize that masturbation and pornography are forbidden in Islam, and you have a sincere desire to stop and seek forgiveness. Seeking forgiveness and overcoming habitual sins is crucial in your spiritual journey. Acknowledging your actions is the first step towards repentance.
Here is some guidance to help you through this process:
- Sincere Repentance (Tawbah): Engage in sincere repentance. Allāh is the Most Forgiving, the Most Merciful. Express your remorse and commit firmly to abandoning these wrongs. Reflect on how the sin affects your relationship with Allāh.
- Make Sincere Dua: Pray to Allāh and ask Him for the strength to stop. Pour out your heart, express your remorse, and seek His mercy and guidance.
- Strengthen Your Faith: Deepen your connection with Allāh by increasing your acts of worship. Perform Ṣalāh (prayers) regularly, recite and reflect upon the Qur‘ān, and engage in Dhikr (remembrance of Allāh).
- Avoid Triggers and Temptations: Identify and proactively avoid triggers. Change your online habits, block specific websites or platforms, and seek alternative ways to manage stress or loneliness.
- Consider Marriage: If it is possible during this stage of your life, I highly advise you to consider getting married. Marriage can provide a halal outlet for your desires and help you avoid sinful behavior. Allāh created us with natural desires, and Islam provides a beautiful and fulfilling way to channel them. Marriage is a sacred bond in Islam that brings love, companionship, and emotional support. If you feel ready for this step in your life, considering marriage could be a powerful way to find emotional and physical fulfillment in a permissible way.
- Keep Fasts: Keeping the belly empty is one of the best ways to overcome one’s desires. If you cannot keep formal fasts, consider spending a few hours each day without food. This practice can help you gain control over your desires and discipline your nafs (self).
- Seek Support: If overwhelmed, consider seeking help from a trusted Islamic counselor or therapist. A Shaykh in Taṣawwuf can provide valuable guidance.
- Positive Company: Surround yourself with positive influences.
- Engage in Positive Activities: Fill your time with constructive activities such as pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or contributing to Islamic courses.
- Stay Accountable: Track your progress and setbacks. If you slip, renew your intention and continue striving for improvement. Remember that Allāh’s mercy is vast.
- Continuous Dua and Patience: Constantly make dua for strength and perseverance. Changing habits and overcoming sins takes time and patience. Trust in Allāh’s guidance and remain steadfast.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Changing habits takes time. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and focus on moving forward.
May Allāh grant you strength, guide you on the right path, and forgive your sins. Always remember that the mercy of your Creator is greater than any sin, and He is waiting for you to turn back to Him.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows best.