Being a Dayyooth if my sister marries a disbeliever

18 Jun 2018 Ref-No#: 751

Hello, I am a 26 year old Muslim man who is married to a Muslima Alhamdulilah and living 5 minutes away from my parents. My parents refer to themselves as Muslims but are barely religious,…they do not pray and especially my dad says some things that are kufr. Anyways, my question is that my younger sister who is living with them is not Muslim (as she states herself) began dating another non-Muslim about a year ago. Originally, I was very angry and opposed this and wanted my sister to marry a Muslim man, but after learning that she does not believe in Islam, I thought to myself wouldn’t it be better for her to at least get married to a kaffir because she is also a kaffira rather than her dating him and being like a woman that is like ‘public property’ for anyone to use and leave as soon as they please? I am very concerned because I do not want to be a dayooth. I am torn because I want my sister to be Muslim and her to marry a Muslim man but she is rejecting Islam so I am worried if we ban her from getting married, than she will sneak away behind our backs and date on her own. Lastly, I must say that if were up to me, I would have dismantled their relationship months ago, but my parents are so liberal that they don’t care if their daughter dates and they tell me to mind my own business and that I can’t control my sister. Sorry for the long question but it is very important to me, please let me know what is better, to let her get married and do dawah to both her and her husband (both kuffar) or to disallow her from getting married and be forced to sit and watch as my parents let her date, and does this make me a dayooth?
Jazak Allah kher.


Wa’alaykum as Salam.wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

We are really disheartened to hear about your parents and sister. We pray that Allah guides them all.

Since your sister has unfortunately left the fold of Islam, your only duty is to constantly give her Da’wah and advise  her to accept Islam again. Besides that, you are not answerable for any of her other actions.

In fact, it is not permissible for any Muslim to marry her. A Muslim cannot marry someone who left the fold of Islam.

Hence, you will not be considered as a Dayyooth (cuckold) if she  has contact with a non Muslim male.

Continue inviting your parents, sister and her husband to Islam with diplomacy. Display good character to them, do not confront them, and be polite with them. Most importantly, constantly make Dua that Allah guides them again. Wake up in the last third of the night, and beg Allah to show them the light.


وليس للمرتدة ان تنكح مسلما ولا ذميا ولا حربيا ولا مرتدا الى دينها او الى دين غيرها فان نكحت فنكاحها باطل (النتف في الفتاوى (1/ 262)

ولا ولاية لصغير ولا مجنون ولا لكافر على مسلم ومسلمة كذا في الحاوي ولا لمسلم على كافر وكافرة كذا في المضمرات (الفتاوى الهندية – ط. دار الفكر (1/ 284)

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