Younger sister in haram relationship

20 Mar 2019 Ref-No#: 1467

Assalamu alaikum,
I have a sister in her teenage who has been in a haram relationship for more than a year. I confronted her numerous times but she didn’t listen. Eventually, I told my mother about it. Unfortunately my mother did not take it well. She cried a lot and begged my sister to stop. It worked for sometime but my sister has started texting the boy again. My mother doesn’t take her cellphone because she’s afraid if she gets strict, my sister will not do well in exams. My sister has extremely immoral company too. If I talk to my mother about her, she gets sick and cries which I cannot bare. If I reprimand my sister, she doesn’t pay attention or find new means of contacting the boy. My mother has forbidden me to let my father know about all of this. Please tell me what I can do. I don’t want them to earn jahannum. I don’t want to be held accountable to not dealing with it constructively too.
jazakum’Allahu khairan


Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Alhamdulillah, it is great to see your concern for your sister.

The Prophet (Sallallahu `Alayhi Wasallam) said,

كلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته، والأمير راع، والرجل راع على أهل بيته (أخرجه البخاري في صحيحه – ج٢، ص٧٨٣)

“All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards. The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 2/783)

You should continue advising your sister. Dont give up hope if she continues with the wrong. Nuh (alayhi as Salam) advised his nation for 950 years. So our duty is to continue advising.

With this, continue making Du’a. Hidaayah (guidance) is ultimately in the hands of Allah.

As the brother and guardian of your sister, you have the right of confiscating the phone from your sister. Even if she is unaware, you may take the phone. Rather break her phone, lest her virginity breaks.

If all fails, you will have to inform your father, so that she can be saved from falling into more sin. Even though your mom prohibited you, it will still be your duty to notify your dad, so that he may use his authority to protect the Iman and chastity of your sister.

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