Is it still the father’s responsibility to provide for his children after they become baaligh?
Question
Assalaamu Alaykum
I am the youngest (16 yrs) of five kids. I have four brothers between 21 and 26.
My father has always never really provided properly for us and my mother. My mother has to use her salary and pay for many things while my father uses a lot of his money on unnecessary things.
Sometimes he says that he pays for electricity and water and that’s his job done. When we say that he is supposed to provide for us. ( Actually my mother says it) He says that we are all baaligh and it’s not his responsibility anymore.
I just want to know if this is true. And if he really isn’t responsible for providing for us ( I am a girl with four brothers) anymore.
Jazakallahu Khair
Answer
Wa ‘alaykum as-salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barakātuhu,
In Islam, the financial responsibility of a father towards his family is clearly defined. A father is obligated to always care for his wife and provide for his children until they can independently support themselves. The obligation of making them independent is upon the father.
Here is a detailed explanation:
Provision for Children:
- Financial Responsibility:
-
- A father is responsible for providing for his children until they reach maturity and can earn a living. This includes basic needs such as food, clothing, education, and medical care.
- The age of maturity (Bulūgh) signifies reaching puberty, but it does not automatically relieve the father of his responsibility if the children are still dependent.
- Once the children attain puberty, the obligation of financially supporting them falls away from the father only if he arranges suitable employment or earnings that will cover their expenses.
- Daughters:
-
- For daughters, a father’s responsibility extends until they are married. Even after reaching puberty, if a daughter is not financially independent or married, the father remains responsible for her maintenance, unless she has her own earnings
- Sons:
-
- For sons, the responsibility continues until they can financially support themselves. This typically includes completing their education, vocational training, obtaining employment, or receiving funds on a monthly basis.
Duty of the Father:
- Father’s Claims:
-
- Your father’s assertion that his duty is fulfilled by paying for utilities and that his responsibility ends when his children reach puberty is partially correct but only after he has secured the earnings of his children.
- Father’s Duty:
-
- If the children are able to work, then the father is obliged to find work for them. The children will then be responsible for their expenses from their earnings. This also includes daughters, who can find suitable jobs such as sewing and weaving, baking etc.
- If the children are unable to work or cannot attain a job that covers their expenses, then the father has the duty of continuing to provide for them.
- Mother’s Contribution:
-
- While it is commendable that your mother is supporting the family, the primary obligation to provide still lies with the father.
- The mother does not have any obligation to provide for her adult children.
Practical Steps:
- Communication:
-
- Consider having a respectful conversation with your father, perhaps facilitated by a knowledgeable third party, to explain the Islamic perspective on his responsibilities.
- External Support:
-
- Seek guidance and support from local Islamic scholars or community leaders who can offer advice and mediate if necessary.
Summary:
Your father remains responsible for providing for both you and your brothers until you all become financially independent. As a father, he is obligated to make you independent by arranging suitable jobs for you. This responsibility does not cease merely with reaching puberty.
And Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala knows best.