Is the husband stitch allowed?
The Husband Stitch is a horrifying procedure where a doctor will add a few extra stitches to a woman’s vagina after she’s given birth to make it tighter for the husband’s pleasure. It is extremely painful for the woman and she may not be able to walk for multiple days after it. It also means that whenever the woman has intercourse, she would feel nothing but pain, at the cost of her husband’s pleasure.
I gave birth to my daughter yesterday and at the hospital, my husband told my doctor to add an few extra stitches. He hadn’t consulted me or asked me about it and asked the doctor without my permission. I immediately refused and told the doctor that he shouldn’t do it. My husband got angry and claimed that I didn’t love him and that I was being selfish. The doctor agreed with me that I shouldn’t get the husband stitch, and if I were to get it, it would be my decision. Ever since yesterday, my husband has been distant and constantly complaining about how all his friends’ wives got the husbands stitch for them and I should care about him enough to get it.
I told him that I had just spent 9 months carrying a child, and spent 7 hours in labour. I was in extreme pain and he thought I should have gotten an unnecessary, painful stitch for him.
He claims that the husband stitch is permissible in Islam and a wife should get it for their husband no matter the cost. I was sceptical and decided to ask you. Is this correct? He constantly brings it up and I find it hard to look after our daughter and deal with him so please can you reply ASAP.
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
The ’husband stitch’, which causes much harm to a woman, is not permissible.
This ruling is premised on the Islamic juristic principle ‘Do not cause harm and do not reciprocate harm’.
It is also not correct that a husband demands such, and it would not be appropriate for him to distance himself from the wife when she wishes not to reciprocate any harm.
Islam also advises seeking medical advice where necessary. Therefore, the doctor opinion not to do the ‘husband stitch’ should be considered.
It should not be forgotten that Islam has afforded rights to both parties in a marriage. But more than demanding rights, Islam emphasizes the fulfilling of rights, notwithstanding the fact that it should be done in accordance with Islamic jurisprudence.
Analyzing the current scenario, there is the right of the husband to gain pleasure from his wife, but at the same time, the wife would have to undergo much harm in fulfilling that very right which is not permissible.
Since this issue tends to be a contentious matter in the marriage, it should be avoided.
If the issue persists, you may consider seeking marital counseling from your local Ālim, or any upright Muslim who may have their services at your disposal.