In-Laws problem

08 Mar 2023 Ref-No#: 5046

My husband & I are happily married, we both don’t have any issues with each other.
His parents have been causing issues, his mother on occasions is mean to me, says hurtful and offensive things. His father has extreme anger out bursts. My in laws think it’s my job to tell them when I go to gynaecologist or know where I am going as if I need their permission, and they believe I should tell them everything including intimate matters of my husband & I private life. Recently my father in law scolded me very harshly and yelled at me Infront of EVERYONE, because I went to a gynaecologist alone (with the permission of husband) he cornered me and was angry at me and accused me of many things. He also beat his son in front of me when my husband tried to get me to leave, he cursed so much I got scared and called my father in fear of my own safety because he wouldn’t let me and my husband go home. My brother in law also cyber bullied me, called me names and very hurtful things, like a witch and accused me of doing black magic (astagfirullah)
Now I want to be seperate from my in-laws, I tried being respectful and took their oppression silently, I took care of them and was there to help when they needed without asking for anything in return.

But after patiently waiting and being oppressed so much so that they asked to be involved in my intimate matters of my private life.

I want to be separated from my in-laws. And not have them involved in my personal affairs and private life so that my husband & I marriage can stay healthy and this oppressive abuse ends.

Am I allowed to separate from my in-laws? Do I need to meet them daily and serve them? Can I avoid them so I can be safe from oppression and abuse that I have faced from them? I just want a peaceful and happy marriage with my husband and to serve him without being constantly judged, oppressed and talked down by my in-laws.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salām wa raḥmatullāhi wa barākatuhu,

  • Yes, you are permitted to stay separate from your in-laws. It is your right, and it is your husband’s duty to provide you with separate and safe accommodation.
  • Yes, you may avoid them. If you see them somewhere, you should just make Salā

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