Husband refused to provide me with a Separate home
Husband refused to provide me a seperate home.
Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu.
I got married a year and a half ago, and I have a 5 months old daughter. I was living with my in laws until there were problems because of my mother in law, now I’m at my mom’s, recovering from a C – section. Since three months after my wedding my mil started the usual taunting and scolding me about little things. I ignored them, she body shamed me. While I was pregnant, she demanded I ask her permission for every little thing, even to wash my clothes or eat an apple. She made a huge deal about how my husband is her son first and I should not expect anything from him. It became worse and is even now. After all this, I asked my husband to provide me a seperate home because this affected me emotionally, physically and mentally. Now that I have a daughter I know it’ll affect her as well. I told him I will not go back to the place that humiliated me, where I don’t have any respect, where I can’t live freely, with no privacy (not allowed to close the room door during day time). There have been many many such problems created by her, she does not like if me and my husband be happy. She lied about issues pertaining to me to my husband in order to make us fight, and we would quarrel everyday. He was understanding of all this and let me stay at my mom’s, now he says he can’t go seperately and leave his parents. He will go seperate if his parents come and tell him but he won’t initiate the talk with them. Now I’m stuck on what to do. I can’t stay with my mom’s forever, and I don’t want to go back but I want to stay with my husband. I will be consulting the local mosque about this for a fatwa, but is there any scholarly article about this situation? What is one supposed to do in this case? I feel miserable. Please do help me out.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Wa ‘alaykum us-salāmu wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Dear Daughter,
What you had to go through was appalling. The harshness stripped a home, a family and the society of love and peace.
You have a right to separate accomodations in accordance to your husband’s financial status.
Involve some God fearing influencial person to initiate the talks for separate accomodation and ease for you.
But remember that parents are parents, be his or yours, dominating their children is a learnt behavior, which becoms difficult to control in old age, but this should not let the children forget the status given to them by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala. So be mindful of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala and give the elderly in laws their due just for the pleasure of Allah almighty and ask him for ease and afiat.
For further info, refer to this link.
https://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/18530
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best