How to do proper tawba after feeling guilty due to a huge sin.
Assalamualaikum, I’m a 17 years old male Muslim & I have a little sister who is 9 years old younger than me. About 2 years ago, when our parents were trying to let her sleep separately due to surpassing 7 years old, she often slept with me. By the time I didn’t knew anything about sexual intercourse but I knew masturbating. At the time, I was curious about female genitals. So whenever she slept with me, I touched her private parts, sometimes even when she was awake. She insisted in the beginning but later allowed it because of pleasure. She was enjoying it, so one day I asked her to do the same for me. So we saw & touched each other’s private parts! I even ejaculated between her thighs too while masturbating! Better she didn’t became pregnant because my cum didn’t entered her body. We did it multiple times! But when I realized it was a huge unforgivable sin, I was feeling extremely guilty that I couldn’t forgive myself! I didn’t knew what to do, how I did such a pathetic & shameful act! I want to do tawba properly for doing this sin. I prayed for forgiveness to Allah multiple times, but I’m not sure if it was enough. Please tell me if there is any other better way to do tawba.
Answer
Wa ‘Alaykumus Salām Wa Raḥmatullāhi Wa Barakātuh
All attempts should be made in seeking forgiveness from her. This is part and parcel of seeking forgiveness from Allāh ﷻ apart from feeling regret, remorse and being determined to never commit such an act in the future.
Also, to be hopeful of the mercy of Allāh in that He will forgive you, In Shā Allāh.
You may consider performing two Raka’āt of Ṣalāh al-Tawbah and thereafter invoking Allāh’s forgiveness, together with charitable work which will be a means of removing any ill-effects of the wrong which was committed.