Father has a secret child

13 Jan 2022 Ref-No#: 4251

Assalamu alaikum, I am in my 30s and have 2 siblings. Over the years I have noticed messages on my dad’s phone from someone calling him dad etc. I did not intentionally look through my dad’s phone but because I work for him, I check messages often. My younger brother mentioned that he has met this person and he happens to be a year older than my brother. The problem is that my dad has never ever confessed or spoken about him at all. I have been living with this and it has been affecting my daily life. I am consumed by guilt and resentment. I do have a close relationship with my dad but I cannot speak to him about this and I am afraid of the repercussions. I have not even sought marriage because it feels like my family is so dysfunctional and fake. Could you please advise me how to handle this and from an islamic perspective, has my dad done the right thing by not informing us and not raising his other son as a muslim? BarakAllah feekum.

Answer

Wa ʿAlaykumus Salām Wa Raḥmatullāhi Wa Barakātuh

Based on the information provided, it cannot be said with certainty as to whether or not the person in question is your father’s son from another marriage as implied.

It is possible that he may address your father as ‘dad’ etc. out of respect and closeness to him, or perhaps this person may not have a father and takes your father to be a fatherly figure in his life.

The best advice would be for you to directly address this issue with your father himself, whilst maintaining respect and dignity, not to be shy or awkward, but to face the situation as it is, addressing your concerns and lending an understanding ear to what he has to say.

May Allāh ﷻ guide you to deal with this situation in the most appropriate manner.