My brain is telling me to sacrifice my parents (kill them) for Allah after I told Allah I love Him the most even more than my parents and my own life. Then I unintentionally said that I cannot kill my parents for Allah like Prophet Ibrahim pbuh agreed to sacrifice his own son for Allah SWT. From that I am feeling so distant from Allah, I keep telling Allah not to take such tests on me. But from that day my prayers are getting missed like fajr, I couldn’t wake up the next day or for some reasons I would miss my prayers like the water will go etc. Even though I try my best to say my prayers at the exact time I can’t and I feel distant from Allah, I am really afraid, my parents r religious people too…what can I do? Please help me..
Assalāmuʿalaykum wa Raḥmatullāhi Wa Barakātuh
One’s obedience to Allāh ﷻ is only found in abiding by His commands.
Therefore, if your mind tells you to kill your parents for Allāh ﷻ, then it should be well-understood that such a thought is from the side of Shayṭān since Allāh ﷻ has commanded that no life shall be taken unjustly.
The incident of Ibrāhim (peace be upon him), whereby he was commanded to sacrifice his son, was specific to him as a prophet, and such a command was a clear instruction from the side of Allāh and not based on a mere thought that had come to his mind.
We, therefore, advise you to seek refuge in Allāh, ask him to guide you, continue with your Ṣalāh and all other good deeds, and to specifically be of good service to your parents. In Shā Allāh, such thoughts will then be remedied.