Delegating divorce to wife
Asalamu Alaikum
Me and my husband got into a bad argument and he said “From this moment right now I’m giving you the power to decide if you want to be together or not” I asked for how long, and he said it’s “only for a day”
Does the delegation to me end at the end of the day?
He asked if I was going out today and I said “I didn’t have to say anything” as I intended not going out that day, and in my head I said “because you’re not my husband”
which I know is waswas.
In my head I have waswas all the time, so after what happened in my head, I cried. I swore on Allah I didn’t want or mean for a divorce.
I didn’t have any intentions on divorcing my husband at all. I didn’t utter the words out my mouth. If I think of things does it count if I do not utter the words?
My mind also kept saying, if I did this and that like me leaving my bed, it would mean a divorce but I don’t mean it. I know it’s waswas and ask Allah for help.
I am afraid I had ended my marriage because of my thoughts.
After my husband said “I revoke you from making any decisions about our marriage, Look you don’t get to decide about our marriage regardless of what i said, I said what i said because I wanted you to apologise for once for your dumb behaviour”
Have I dissolved our marriage?
Answer
Wa ʿAlaykumus Salām Wa Raḥmatullāhī Wa Barakātuh
In the current scenario, it is correct to say that the right to divorce had been delegated to you and had been restricted to that particular day.
With the ending of that day, your right to divorce would have terminated.
Since you had not uttered any words which, explicitly or implicitly, expressed a divorce, your marriage remains intact and had not been dissolved.
Furthermore, the Prophet ﷺ said:
“The devil is present with one of you in everything he (or she) does.” [Muslim]
Based on the above, it is clear that the devil will always attempt to tamper with the state of one’s mind.
However, the best remedy for such is to train the mind to ignore or divert such evil whispers (waswasah).
References
ﻓﺈﻥ ﻭﻗﺘﻪ ﺑﻮﻗﺖ ﺧﺎﺹ ﺑﺄﻥ ﻗﺎﻝ: ﺃﻣﺮﻙ ﺑﻴﺪﻙ ﻳﻮﻣﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺷﻬﺮا ﺃﻭ ﺳﻨﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻗﺎﻝ: اﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﺃﻭ اﻟﺸﻬﺮ ﺃﻭ اﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﺃﻭ ﻗﺎﻝ: ﻫﺬا اﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﺃﻭ ﻫﺬا اﻟﺸﻬﺮ ﺃﻭ ﻫﺬﻩ اﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﻻ ﻳﺘﻘﻴﺪ ﺑﺎﻟﻤﺠﻠﺲ ﻭﻟﻬﺎ اﻷﻣﺮ ﻓﻲ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﻛﻠﻪ ﺗﺨﺘﺎﺭ ﻧﻔﺴﻬﺎ ﻓﻴﻤﺎ ﺷﺎءﺕ ﻣﻨﻪ، ﻭﻟﻮ ﻗﺎﻣﺖ ﻣﻦ ﻣﺠﻠﺴﻬﺎ ﺃﻭ ﺗﺸﺎﻏﻠﺖ ﺑﻐﻴﺮ اﻟﺠﻮاﺏ ﻻ ﻳﺒﻄﻞ ﺧﻴﺎﺭﻫﺎ ﻣﺎ ﺑﻘﻲ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﺑﻼ ﺧﻼﻑ؛ ﻷﻧﻪ ﻓﻮﺽ اﻷﻣﺮ ﺇﻟﻴﻬﺎ ﻓﻲ ﺟﻤﻴﻊ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ اﻟﻤﺬﻛﻮﺭ ﻓﻴﺒﻘﻰ ﻣﺎ ﺑﻘﻲ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ؛ ﻭﻷﻧﻪ ﻟﻮ ﺑﻄﻞ اﻷﻣﺮ ﺑﺈﻋﺮاﺿﻬﺎ ﻟﻢ ﻳﻜﻦ ﻟﻠﺘﻮﻗﻴﺖ ﻓﺎﺋﺪﺓ، ﻭﻛﺎﻥ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﻭﻏﻴﺮ اﻟﻮﻗﺖ ﺳﻮاء ﻏﻴﺮ ﺃﻧﻪ ﺇﻥ ﺫﻛﺮ اﻟﻴﻮﻡ ﺃﻭ اﻟﺸﻬﺮ ﺃﻭ اﻟﺴﻨﺔ ﻣﻨﻜﺮا ﻓﻠﻬﺎ اﻷﻣﺮ ﻣﻦ اﻟﺴﺎﻋﺔ اﻟﺘﻲ ﺗﻜﻠﻢ ﻓﻴﻬﺎ ﺇﻟﻰ ﻣﺜﻠﻬﺎ ﻣﻦ اﻟﻐﺪ ﻭاﻟﺸﻬﺮ ﻭاﻟﺴﻨﺔ؛ ﻷﻥ ﺫﻟﻚ ﻳﻘﻊ ﻋﻠﻰ ﻳﻮﻡ ﺗﺎﻡ ﻭﺷﻬﺮ ﺗﺎﻡ ﻭﺳﻨﺔ ﺗﺎﻣﺔ ﻭﻻ ﻳﺘﻢ ﺇﻻ ﺑﻤﺎ ﻗﻠﻨﺎ
(بدائع الصنائع ٣/١١٥)
حَدَّثَنَا عُثْمَانُ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي سُفْيَانَ، عَنْ جَابِرٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ “ إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ يَحْضُرُ أَحَدَكُمْ عِنْدَ كُلِّ شَىْءٍ مِنْ شَأْنِ (صحيح مسلم)